through the wind and waves
I am a boat, sailing the open sea
Going in and out of the eye of a hurricane
Alone in a big ocean with courage and optimism, trusting in the Lord as I sail into the unknown.
Some days, I’m in the calm eye, keeping my eyes on the Lord and trusting Him to lead me away from the danger that surrounds me
Listening to His sweet soft voice.
Encouraging me, singing his love over me as I continue on in fullness and fulfillment
But this past week, I slowly took my eyes off Him.
I suddenly chose to stop listening to his voice and direction.
My boat then steered sideways into the storm
Therefore, I’ve been beaten by the wind and waves.
Water crashes into my boat, slowly sinking me
I try with all my might to repair the damage, but can’t manage all the mishaps
The thunder scares me and the lightning strikes so close.
Through each wave I sink deeper and deeper,
Until I’ve hit rock bottom.
Helpless, hopeless, feeling so alone and forgotten
I wonder how I’ve been able to manage through the eye and not go astray
Then I remember
Jesus
At the bottom of the ocean I cry, “Jesus, save me”
That desperate yet helpless cry as my boat suffers from broken wood
“Forgive me Lord, I took my eyes off you. I thought I could handle it for a day. But a day turned into two, then three, then a week.
And as I sit at the bottom of the ocean, the waters parted and a hand appears and scopes up my boat, heals my wounds, and set me afloat into the eye of the hurricane
Forgiven, restored, and set on the right path.
I then realize how undeserving I am of a merciful, loving and faithful father who delights in sustaining me
I left Him, betrayed him as I put my own strength before His
And yet, he has never failed me, never left me, and never forgotten me.
Even while I was at the bottom of the ocean, he was waiting until I called out to Him because in all His love, He doesn’t want to force Himself upon me.
How could I ever think I could steer my way through the eye of the hurricane without listening to the one who sees far above the storm?
In reality,
I have gone through a lot this week.
I’ve been in the eye for a good while,
But this week, I slowly stopped being with Jesus in the morning and started relying on my own strength to go throughout my days
Day turned into 2, then 3, then four, then a week.
I’ve learned that when you are working in ministry, the enemy is more inclined to strike as soon as you rely on your own strength.
He’ll whisper lies when he knows you haven’t been feeding yourself truth, knowing you’re more likely to believe them
So, that’s what I did
I’ve been believing these lies that I’m alone, that I have no friends, that no one takes the time to be intentional with me and love me for who I am.
And worst of all, I’ve tried to fight it all on my own, and failed miserably.
I’ve cried multiple times on the phone with my mom and boyfriend about all the hurtful events stacking on top of each other.
Until I called upon the name of Jesus.
Continuously reminding myself of how faithful He has been to me
Praising and worshiping him even though I FEEL like doing the opposite but I KNOW He is faithful and steadfast.
Friends, remember to keep your eyes on the Lord, through the bad AND the good.
Jesus is our beautiful, faithful friend who is always there for us and never lets us down.
Call out to Jesus today, whether you’re in the eye or the storm and NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF
The wind and waves aren’t worth trying to survive.
Let go of the steering wheel and allow the Father to steer you through life
He is trustworthy and…
He never fails
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